Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
