Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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