Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
