My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.