Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.