I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
