Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
