He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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