we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
