I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
