my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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