I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have fence marks all over my body
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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