I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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