the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
