he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
