I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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