I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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