I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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