no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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