I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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