he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
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I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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