I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
pray to the hookup gods
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
