I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
