If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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