apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
