the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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