don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
