So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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