I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
