This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
