I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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