So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
