I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
