I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
