I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
