i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
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I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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