I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
