You made me cry and you don't even care
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
