It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
