I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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