This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
