What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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