So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize