I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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