i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
