I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
