can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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