mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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