Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I could make wine with my vomit
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
