i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
