...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Randomize