What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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