But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
