dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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