He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
