That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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