i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
