After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize