I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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