conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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